Big Brother Skateboard Magazine, June 1998
Since the last interview, how've you guys been?
Jeff Hanneman: SWELL!
Tom Araya: Deja vu?
We found out what abacinate means.
Tom Araya: Oh yeah, what's it mean?
Kerry King: Did we not know last time or something?
You wouldn't tell us last time
Jeff Hanneman: It's a secret
Kerry King: That means we probably didn't know.
Tom Araya: What's it mean?
It means to burn the eyes by holding a hot rod in front of them
Tom Araya: Very good.
Kerry King: I didn't even know that.
Jeff Hanneman: You've done your homework.
Yes, that's all I've done.
Tom Araya: What, you spent two years looking for that word?
Kerry King: A lot of times I'll look up shit for a song, and when interviews come around, I forgot what the fuck the word meant anyway.
Jeff Hanneman: How did you find it anyway?
In a very, very big dictionary. Since the last interview, have any two of you been simultaneously fucking the same girl, one in her vagina, one in door number two, and your penises slipped out and touched each other?
Kerry King: Sorry.
Jeff Hanneman: Ugh
Paul Bostaph: Nope.
Kerry King: We haven't shared chicks in many years. Hey, look, "Tomb of the unknown whore!" (Kerry holds up one of the porno mags we had given them all to see.)
On one your albums you guys thank Adolf Coors; is Coors still the beer of choice for the band?
Jeff Hanneman: For me.
Kerry King: I have to thank Mr. Stoli.
Which Spice Girl would you most like to perform the devil's business with?
Kerry King: The redhead.
Paul Bostaph: They're all chicks, right? I'll take them all.
Jeff Hanneman: The blonde.
Tom Araya: I know there's Spice Girls and I know there's five of them, but that's about it.
Kerry King: You'd probably go for Scary.
Tom Araya: I'd have to see them.
Did you kick someone in the Live Intrusion video?
Tom Araya: Yeah, you caught that, huh? Well, he was up on stage just a little longer than normal, and he had done it three times, and it's just like, alright, you've had your fun. He was going for a dive and I just turned sideways and tripped his foot up and he went headfirst into the barricade. There's a shot of a guy in the video with a big ol' knot on his head; I think that's the guy.
So what kind of music do you guys play?
Everyone: (Cold, icy stares)
Kerry King: What the hell do you mean?
Next question, remember when we went to Disneyland?
Kerry King: Aw fuck! This dude is fucking injecting something into his rod. (They all ingnore the question and look at Kerry's porno.)
I'm thinking about starting a Slayer cover band. What do you think I should call it? a) Angel of Death b) Vagina Head Boy c) Cunt Head 2000 d) Cunt Head 4000 e) Cunty and the Cunt Holes.
Kerry King: (Looks up from porn) How did that question start off? Angel of Death, then what?
Vagina Head Boy
Jeff Hanneman: I like that one.
Kerry King: Vagina Head Boy!
Vagina Head Boy it is. So what's the drummer situation? Why did you guys kick John out?
Tom Araya: That was just a mutual agreement between all of us.
Kerry King: He hangs out at the bar with me a lot these days.
Jeff Hanneman: Paul's services became available, and we didn't have anything serious with John, so we got back to what we were doing to start with.
I thought you kicked him out because he had a Primus haircut. Are you guys excited to play with the Foo Fighters on the next OZ tour?
Kerry King: Fuckin' not in the slightest.
Have any of you had diarrhea onstage?
Kerry King: Probably.
Paul Bostaph: Shit.
Tom Araya: It's a very good question because those are the sort of things you have to worry about when you're up there.
Jeff Hanneman: I've had those wet farts, just holdin; on to them.
Tom Araya: Especially when you're up there screaming your ass off hoping that you don't fuckin' fart.
Where there any deaths on the last small venue tour?
Tom Araya: No, but there was a mean ol' fight that broke out in Utah.
Kerry King: Skinheads.
What are some of Slayer's secret lovemaking techniques?
Tom Araya: It's all in the tongue.
Jeff Hanneman: That's a secret?
Have any of you ever fucked any witches?
Kerry King: I think I did. She said she was.
Did she do anything witchy?
Kerry King: There was a lot of drinking going on.
Jeff Hanneman: You were pretty dizzy the next morning.
Kerry King: Wow, some of the ads in here (the porno) were here when I used to get it.
I'm going to take the magazines away from you guys if you don't pay attention.
Tom Araya: Hey, you brought 'em man.
Have you ever eaten poi?
Paul Bostaph: Nope.
Tom Araya: What the fuck is poi?
Jeff Hanneman: It's poi-ish stuff.
Kerry King: Hawaiian fucking shit.
Tom Araya: Well, what is it?
Tom Araya: I'd remember eating something purple.
Kerry King: I remember this old Howie Mandel special, Howie in Maui, and some dude gets poi poured all over him in the front row. That's the only reason I know what the hell you're talking about.
Okay, Kerry, you're excluded from the next question. What kind of hair-care products do you guys use?
Tom Araya: We don't use Kerry's.
By the way, Kerry, how have the lighening bolts been treating you?
Kerry King: What lightening bolts?
The thingies on your head.
Kerry King: The tattoos? They're cool.
When you were on the "Clash of the Titans" tour with Anthrax, did you ever steal the singer's Indian headdress that he used to wear onstage and put it on your head and dance around going, "Woo-woo! Oh, look at me! I'm the Indian from the Village People!"?
Kerry King: No, but we got Tom a black one.
Tom Araya: Yeah, I had a black one on, and while they were onstage, I ran at him going "WHOOAA!" They pelted me with eggs. Faggots.
Who are some inlikely celebrity fan that like Slayer. Like, what if Puff Daddy liked Slayer?
Tom Araya: That's him right there (points to TV in room with Puff Daddy on it).
Kerry King: Mike Piazza (Dodger's catcher) hangs out with us every once in a while. I can't think of anybody.
I heard that fighter pilots listen to Slayer.
Paul Bostaph: I have a friend who was an army major in Desert Storm. He said that one of the things they would do when they were attacking, they would have these trucks with big loudspeakers that would just play heavy metal music, and one of the bands they would crank was Slayer.
Tom Araya: It's good music to psyche you up for it.
Why don't white rappers ever get killed? They're the ones that deserve it.
Tom Araya: Good question. We'll have to do something about that.
Kerry King: I agree, but what about Living Colour? It's the same thing, just backwards.
Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?
Kerry King: Nope
Who do you think the-
Kerry King: No, you got to listen. You're just asking questions that ask for a yes/no answer.
Well, at least you say something; when I ask for your comments all I get are icy stares. Here, try this one: When you sing the song "The AntiChrist", do you really believe that you're the AntiChrist or are you just playacting?
Kerry King: Wait a minute. Are hairy muffs back in? (Holds up photo of hairy muff.)
Kerry King: Blah-ha. You see this shit? It's a fucking forest!
Jeff Hanneman: That's not right.
Do you prefer bald pussies or Hitler mustaches?
Kerry King: Either/or, just as long as I don't come away from it with more hair than I started.
Tom, you don't scream as much as you used to, waz up wit dat?
Tom Araya: Waz up wit dat? It's called age, man.
Is there another album after this one?
Kerry King: I'm sure there will be many more.
What are some stupid things that people in the music industry have suggested to you guys? Like, ska was pretty popular there for a while.
Kerry King: (Cold, icy stare)
That's not a yes/no question.
Kerry King: Yeah, I know, but you ask a question, and then that second thing didn't make sense. What was the first part of the question?
Your problem is you don't pay attention. What are some stupid things that people in the music industry have suggested to you guys? Like, ska was pretty popular for a while.
Kerry King: So what does that have to do with the question?
Tom Araya: Like, have they suggested that we should sound that way.
Kerry King: C'mon, I'm giving him a hard time.
Did I ask you about diarrhea onstage yet?
Kerry King: See, I'm paying attention.
The other day, I was going through the stacks in the record store and I noticed that you guys were between Slash's Snakepit and Sly and the Family Stone, which brings me to the topic of race relations in America...
Tom Araya: That's a good way of going into it...
...so, uh, should we open the borders to the Mexicans?
Tom Araya: We get anymore, they're going to reclaim it.
Kerry King: It don't matter, they're already here here anyway. Everybody has the cheap labour; they don't want them to leave. And if another one of them gets in my way on the freeway, I'm going to be pissed.
Is everyone here circumcised?
Everyone but Tom: Yes, sir.
Well, Tom, you're excused from this question. Are you guys mad that your foreskin was taken from you without your permission?
Kerry King: Not at all.
Jeff Hanneman: No. What? "I want it back!"
Let's see, I already asked the diarrhea question, so I think I'm done.
Kerry King: Wait, I got more mags to look through.
Do you guys want to give any shout outs?
Kerry King: What exactly is a "shout out"?
"I'd like to say thanks to my sponsors, my mom, my dad, Jesus Christ, etc."
Jeff Hanneman: Nope.
Tom Araya: That's good. Write that.
Kerry King: Not for me.
Sidebar: Slayer's beer
When we did the interview, Columbia was kind enough to give each of us a beer. Apparently, that was all the beer Columbia owned, so they sent this pretty young bird on a beer run to buy Slayer some more beer. She came back as we were leaving, and I asked her, "Is that Slayer's beer?""Yes" she said, "Would you like one?" It was Heineken. I've always had an aversion to Heineken because Dennis Hopper hates it and Jeff Tremaine (Big Brother's art director) loves it, but this was Slayer's Heineken so I didn't have a problem taking one for the ride home. (Deicide also prefered Heineken, incidentally.) Slayer's beer is no ordinary beer. Just buying beer for Slayer and pointing it in the direction of Slayer changes everything about that beer. That beer was evil, jack. It's been a long time since one beer made me tipsy, but Slayer's beer did just that. Before I even finished it, the sneaky devil slipped right out of my hands and spilled all over the floor of the car. It was like it was pulled from my hand! I have a feeling they were bummed about only getting an 11 pack and so asked the "Dark One" to teach me a lesson. Why did she narc on me?