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Slayer interview - Big Brother Skateboard Magazine: June 1998 interview by Dave Carnie Since the last interview, how've you guys been? Jeff Hanneman: SWELL! Tom Araya: Deja vu? We found out what abacinate means. TA: Oh yeah, what's it mean? Kerry King: Did we not know last time or something? You wouldn't tell us last time JH: It's a secret KK: That means we probably didn't know. TA: What's it mean? It means to burn the eyes by holding a hot rod in front of them TA: Very good. KK: I didn't even know that. JH: You've done your homework. Yes, that's all I've done. TA: What, you spent two years looking for that word? KK: A lot of times I'll look up shit for a song, and when interviews come around, I forgot what the fuck the word meant anyway. JH: How did you find it anyway? In a very, very big dictionary. Since the last interview, have any two of you been simultaneously fucking the same girl, one in her vagina, one in door number two, and your penises slipped out and touched each other? KK: Sorry. JH: Ugh Paul Bostaph: Nope. KK: We haven't shared chicks in many years. Hey, look, "Tomb of the unknown whore!" (Kerry holds up one of the porno mags we had given them all to see.) On one your albums you guys thank Adolf Coors; is Coors still the beer of choice for the band? JH: For me. KK: I have to thank Mr. Stoli. Which Spice Girl would you most like to perform the devil's business with? KK: The redhead. PB: They're all chicks, right? I'll take them all. JH: The blonde. TA: I know there's Spice Girls and I know there's five of them, but that's about it. KK: You'd probably go for Scary. TA: I'd have to see them. Did you kick someone in the Live Intrusion video? TA: Yeah, you caught that, huh? Well, he was up on stage just a little longer than normal, and he had done it three times, and it's just like, alright, you've had your fun. He was going for a dive and I just turned sideways and tripped his foot up and he went headfirst into the barricade. There's a shot of a guy in the video with a big ol' knot on his head; I think that's the guy. So what kind of music do you guys play? Everyone: (Cold, icy stares) KK: What the hell do you mean? Next question, remember when we went to Disneyland? KK: Aw fuck! This dude is fucking injecting something into his rod. (They all ingnore the question and look at Kerry's porno.) I'm thinking about starting a Slayer cover band. What do you think I should call it? a) Angel of Death b) Vagina Head Boy c) Cunt Head 2000 d) Cunt Head 4000 e) Cunty and the Cunt Holes. KK: (Looks up from porn) How did that question start off? Angel of Death, then what? Vagina Head Boy JH: I like that one. KK: Vagina Head Boy! Vagina Head Boy it is. So what's the drummer situation? Why did you guys kick John out? TA: That was just a mutual agreement between all of us. KK: He hangs out at the bar with me a lot these days. JH: Paul's services became available, and we didn't have anything serious with John, so we got back to what we were doing to start with. I thought you kicked him out because he had a Primus haircut. Are you guys excited to play with the Foo Fighters on the next OZ tour? KK: Fuckin' not in the slightest. Have any of you had diarrhea onstage? KK: Probably. PB: Shit. TA: It's a very good question because those are the sort of things you have to worry about when you're up there. JH: I've had those wet farts, just holdin; on to them. TA: Especially when you're up there screaming your ass off hoping that you don't fuckin' fart. Where there any deaths on the last small venue tour? TA: No, but there was a mean ol' fight that broke out in Utah. KK: Skinheads. What are some of Slayer's secret lovemaking techniques? TA: It's all in the tongue. JH: That's a secret? Have any of you ever fucked any witches? KK: I think I did. She said she was. Did she do anything witchy? KK: There was a lot of drinking going on. JH: You were pretty dizzy the next morning. KK: Wow, some of the ads in here (the porno) were here when I used to get it. I'm going to take the magazines away from you guys if you don't pay attention. TA: Hey, you brought 'em man. Have you ever eaten poi? PB: Nope. TA: What the fuck is poi? JH: It's poi-ish stuff. KK: Hawaiian fucking shit. TA: Well, what is it? It's purple. TA: I'd remember eating something purple. KK: I remember this old Howie Mandel special, Howie in Maui, and some dude gets poi poured all over him in the front row. That's the only reason I know what the hell you're talking about. Okay, Kerry, you're excluded from the next question. What kind of hair-care products do you guys use? TA: We don't use Kerry's. By the way, Kerry, how have the lighening bolts been treating you? KK: What lightening bolts? The thingies on your head. KK: The tattoos? They're cool. When you were on the "Clash of the Titans" tour with Anthrax, did you ever steal the singer's Indian headdress that he used to wear onstage and put it on your head and dance around going, "Woo-woo! Oh, look at me! I'm the Indian from the Village People!"? KK: No, but we got Tom a black one. TA: Yeah, I had a black one on, and while they were onstage, I ran at him going "WHOOAA!" They pelted me with eggs. Faggots. Who are some inlikely celebrity fan that like Slayer. Like, what if Puff Daddy liked Slayer? TA: That's him right there (points to TV in room with Puff Daddy on it). KK: Mike Piazza (Dodger's catcher) hangs out with us every once in a while. I can't think of anybody. I heard that fighter pilots listen to Slayer. PB: I have a friend who was an army major in Desert Storm. He said that one of the things they would do when they were attacking, they would have these trucks with big loudspeakers that would just play heavy metal music, and one of the bands they would crank was Slayer. TA: It's good music to psyche you up for it. Why don't white rappers ever get killed? They're the ones that deserve it. TA: Good question. We'll have to do something about that. KK: I agree, but what about Living Colour? It's the same thing, just backwards. Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior? KK: Nope Who do you think the- KK: No, you got to listen. You're just asking questions that ask for a yes/no answer. Well, at least you say something; when I ask for your comments all I get are icy stares. Here, try this one: When you sing the song "The AntiChrist", do you really believe that you're the AntiChrist or are you just playacting? KK: Wait a minute. Are hairy muffs back in? (Holds up photo of hairy muff.) Kind of. KK: Blah-ha. You see this shit? It's a fucking forest! JH: That's not right. Do you prefer bald pussies or Hitler mustaches? KK: Either/or, just as long as I don't come away from it with more hair than I started. Tom, you don't scream as much as you used to, waz up wit dat? TA: Waz up wit dat? It's called age, man. Is there another album after this one? KK: I'm sure there will be many more. What are some stupid things that people in the music industry have suggested to you guys? Like, ska was pretty popular there for a while. KK: (Cold, icy stare) That's not a yes/no question. KK: Yeah, I know, but you ask a question, and then that second thing didn't make sense. What was the first part of the question? Your problem is you don't pay attention. What are some stupid things that people in the music industry have suggested to you guys? Like, ska was pretty popular for a while. KK: So what does that have to do with the question? TA: Like, have they suggested that we should sound that way. KK: C'mon, I'm giving him a hard time. Did I ask you about diarrhea onstage yet? Everyone: Yep. KK: See, I'm paying attention. The other day, I was going through the stacks in the record store and I noticed that you guys were between Slash's Snakepit and Sly and the Family Stone, which brings me to the topic of race relations in America... (Laughter) TA: That's a good way of going into it... (Silence) ...so, uh, should we open the borders to the Mexicans? TA: We get anymore, they're going to reclaim it. KK: It don't matter, they're already here here anyway. Everybody has the cheap labour; they don't want them to leave. And if another one of them gets in my way on the freeway, I'm going to be pissed. Is everyone here circumcised? Everyone but Tom: Yes, sir. Well, Tom, you're excused from this question. Are you guys mad that your foreskin was taken from you without your permission? KK: Not at all. JH: No. What? "I want it back!" Let's see, I already asked the diarrhea question, so I think I'm done. KK: Wait, I got more mags to look through. Do you guys want to give any shout outs? KK: What exactly is a "shout out"? "I'd like to say thanks to my sponsors, my mom, my dad, Jesus Christ, etc." JH: Nope. TA: That's good. Write that. KK: Not for me. Sidebar: Slayer's beer When we did the interview, Columbia was kind enough to give each of us a beer. Apparently, that was all the beer Columbia owned, so they sent this pretty young bird on a beer run to buy Slayer some more beer. She came back as we were leaving, and I asked her, "Is that Slayer's beer?""Yes" she said, "Would you like one?" It was Heineken. I've always had an aversion to Heineken because Dennis Hopper hates it and Jeff Tremaine (Big Brother's art director) loves it, but this was Slayer's Heineken so I didn't have a problem taking one for the ride home. (Deicide also prefered Heineken, incidentally.) Slayer's beer is no ordinary beer. Just buying beer for Slayer and pointing it in the direction of Slayer changes everything about that beer. That beer was evil, jack. It's been a long time since one beer made me tipsy, but Slayer's beer did just that. Before I even finished it, the sneaky devil slipped right out of my hands and spilled all over the floor of the car. It was like it was pulled from my hand! I have a feeling they were bummed about only getting an 11 pack and so asked the "Dark One" to teach me a lesson. Why did she narc on me? |
